ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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