I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
