Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
