If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
