is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
