I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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