Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
