Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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