She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
