Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
