Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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