Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
