So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
