I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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