So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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