Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
