oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
