Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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