I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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