Kiss
Puke
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
