hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
