I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
