You're so nebulous sometimes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
