You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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