I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
