take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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