Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
