After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
