hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
