Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
