I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
