I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
