Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We left the knife in your bed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
