It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
