Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
