Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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