I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
