He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
