I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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