I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
