South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
