That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
