i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My dick has a subreddit
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
