Don't you send me to vm
so that wasnt chicken after all
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
