i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
