I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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