Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
how does that bad decision feel?
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