We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
