I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
