I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
