Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
